Happiness is a bullshit idea

We live in a culture where we are bombarded by the notion that we ought to be happy. And the right to live in unadulterated bliss is an idea that has been enshrined in America’s constitution. Hallmark has made an industry out of this with sweet mushy cards that say, “may you find happiness which ever path you take…”, “happy birthday – hope you find all the success you deserve.” Ever occasion is used to peddle this idea – Mothers day, New Years Day, Birthday and oh yes …Valentines Day.

But after much research and careful consideration (that involved staring at the ceiling because I was unable to fall asleep), I have come to the conclusion that happiness is a bullshit idea.

There are very few people who are genuinely happy – happy in a deep, constant and grounded way. Perhaps, the Dalia Lama is – but then he is someone who is well on his way to Nirvana. For the rest of us, we experience happiness in bursts – when we get the job that we wanted, when we ‘fall’ in love, when eat chocolate cake – but that feeling lasts only for two months, two weeks or as in the case of the chocolate cake – only two hours. And then the yearning starts again, and we crave another dose of what we think is likely to make us happy – the perfect guy, the perfect job, the perfect dress.

Happiness has been a subject of much philosophical debate – and great minds such as Aristotle, JS Mill and Nietzsche have crafted complex arguments around this ("Two Conceptions of Happiness.) . More recently economists have started taking an interest in this issue, and it turns out that several studies confirm what Grandma always knew - money can’t buy you happiness. One of the most consistent findings has been that the correlation between financial wealth and well-being is relatively weak, especially as countries become wealthier. Paul Krugman has an interesting article about this – the CPI and the Rat Race. The Economist published a long, meandering article that examines the concepts of relative poverty and relative happiness. It compares two men--a doctor in Congo and a retired coal miner worker in Kentucky--who earn about the same amount of absolute income. The contrast proves to be a good set-up for some provocative questions. Another study published by UK’s New Scientist found the happiest people in the World live in Nigeria which happens to be one of the poorest and the most countries on the planet.

The thing is pursing happiness is counter productive and futile. For one life in inherently unfair - it was never meant to be a walk in the park. And the more time we spending wanting and yearning to be happy, the less likely we are to find it – in fact we may end up being more sad. 'Ask yourself whether you are happy,' wrote John Stuart Mill, more than 100 years ago, 'and you cease to be so.' So if only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.

Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne